Wednesday, February 08, 2006

With your help, we can find a cure

Hi, I'm Troy McClure, you may remember me from such health awareness films as "Stop! You Don't Know Where She's Been" and "That's Not For Eating." I'm here to talk to you today about an ailment which is proliferating throughout the grad student community: Nesmitis. Named after the first victim in which it was diagnosed, Nesma, (though it assuredly existed un-diagnosed beforehand), Nesmitis is characterized by napping 6, sometimes 7 times a day, the profound inability to get out of bed in the morning, and narcolepsy-like fits of spontaneous sleep. Initial statistic indicated that 4 out of 5 grad students were afflicted by this ailment, but as testing procedures improve, statistics appear to indicate that as many as 6 out of 5 may be affected. No cure is yet known for Nesmitis, though "graduation" is currently undergoing clinical tests for efficacy. Results are thus far mixed.

If you, or someone you know is affected by Nesmitis, you may be able to help. Keep a sleeping bag and/or pillow handy for unexpected Nesmitic attacks. Learn to sleep upright. Drinking copious amounts of coffee has been known to ameliorate the symptoms of Nesmitis to a limited extent. Perhaps most importantly, be supportive of those you love who suffer from this insidious disease. Do not accuse them of laziness or procrastination. They have enough to struggle with already.

This has been a public service announcement courtesy of the Nesmitis Awareness Association.

3 Comments:

At 6:36 PM, Blogger Balcancan said...

I think you should rename the Nesmitis Awareness Association to Nesmitis Awareness Programme aka "NAP".
There is no known cure. Someone really should inform the WHO. There they are, focusing all their energy on bird flu, when we have another global pandemic affecting the young minds of the world's future leaders!!!

 
At 8:16 AM, Anonymous Nes said...

Clever AND witty - you may in fact be one of the world's future leaders. If we could only find enough 'awake-time' to actually do something...

 
At 3:25 PM, Blogger Balcancan said...

Moi a world leader? No no, i am but a humble peasant..

But Nes!!! Thou art possibly a genius! I think you are onto a winner WITHOUT awake time! Just think how the face of foreign policy could change if world leaders napped together with their favourite blankets and/or teddies. Imagine the consensus post nap-time! Hamas and Kadima group nap? Ahmadinejad & Condy group nap? UN Security Council group nap?
Are you feeling the warm fuzzy lurve?

 

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