With your help, we can find a cure

Hi, I'm Troy McClure, you may remember me from such health awareness films as "Stop! You Don't Know Where She's Been" and "That's Not For Eating." I'm here to talk to you today about an ailment which is proliferating throughout the grad student community: Nesmitis. Named after the first victim in which it was diagnosed, Nesma, (though it assuredly existed un-diagnosed beforehand), Nesmitis is characterized by napping 6, sometimes 7 times a day, the profound inability to get out of bed in the morning, and narcolepsy-like fits of spontaneous sleep. Initial statistic indicated that 4 out of 5 grad students were afflicted by this ailment, but as testing procedures improve, statistics appear to indicate that as many as 6 out of 5 may be affected. No cure is yet known for Nesmitis, though "graduation" is currently undergoing clinical tests for efficacy. Results are thus far mixed.

If you, or someone you know is affected by Nesmitis, you may be able to help. Keep a sleeping bag and/or pillow handy for unexpected Nesmitic attacks. Learn to sleep upright. Drinking copious amounts of coffee has been known to ameliorate the symptoms of Nesmitis to a limited extent. Perhaps most importantly, be supportive of those you love who suffer from this insidious disease. Do not accuse them of laziness or procrastination. They have enough to struggle with already.

This has been a public service announcement courtesy of the Nesmitis Awareness Association.