Friday, December 02, 2005

These stories are true...

...only the names have been changed to protect the innocent and embarrassed.

Like I said before, I've decided to include some anecdotes to give you all a flavour of what life is like here. I'm not sure how entertaining you'll find them, it might be a matter of "you had to be there" with some of them. Also, alcohol will probably figure quite prominently in most of these stories, but I assure you, we're not just perpetually drunk here. Sometimes we're asleep.

So, to start with, a mutual friend of Nesma and I, Mo, went to university in Scotland and now lives in London. He had often regaled us with tales of the drinking escapades of his Scottish friends, so it was therefore with much eager anticipation that we received news that a few of them were coming to London to visit. It was agreed that we'd all go out on a Sunday evening, Nes and I advertised in our residence, but only two people decided to come, my Turkish flatmate and an Indian guy. I mention their nationality only because it comes into play later. So we all go out to a club in Leicester Square called Metra, which was pretty expensive. So one of Mo's friends makes a calculation and finds that it'd be cheaper to order alcohol by the bottle than buy individual drinks. So he orders a bottle of vodka for 65 pounds (approximately $130 cdn). He offers all of us drinks until it's finished, and then he orders another! Not to be outdone, another one of the Scottish guys orders two bottles of champagne simultaneously. I should add that we were all fairly inebriated before this. This puts my Turkish flatmate over the top, and we decide she's ready to go home, so the Indian guy from residence volunteers to go home with her.

This is where the story gets interesting. Apparently, as they're going home, they get stopped by two police officers, who are concerned about what this Indian guy is doing with this obviously drunk girl. So they start asking my Turkish flatmate "Do you know him? Are you alright?" etc. The Indian guy attempts to reassure the officers that he indeed does know her, that he's trying to get her home safely, etc. whereupon my Turkish flatmate starts talking in Turkish. It went something like this:

Turkish girl: "*rambles in Turkish*"
Indian guy: "I don't understand what you're saying"
Cops: "Are you okay miss?"
Indian guy: "Yes, she's fine, tell them you're fine"
Turkish girl: "*rambles in Turkish*"
Indian guy: "I don't understand anything you're saying!"
Turkish girl: "*rambles in Turkish*"
Indian guy: "*rambles in Hindi*"
Turkish Girl: "What? I don't understand you"
Indian Guy: "Now you know how I feel!"

So, somehow they made it home. Meanwhile, at the bar, we're all pretty loaded, particularly Mo's friend that ordered the two bottles of vodka. The bouncers come in to kick us out when Mo is like "whoa, hang on guys, he's the only one that's drunk, take him out, we'll stay." So...that's what they did! This all happened unbknownst to me. So, a couple hours later, when we all decide to leave, we walk out, and there's the vodka boy slumped against a wall waiting for us! I should also include this: when this guy gets drunk, he'll randomly and without reason just, mid-sentence. He'll be like "I think I went to this bar last...AAAAAHHHHHH...time I was in London!" It's really quite amusing.

Okay, well, that's story-time for today, I'll try to think of some amusing incidents and share them on here, let me know if I'm boring you or anything.



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