Thursday, October 19, 2006

dream woman, division of the human species, and Canadian beckonings

Alright class, we have a lot to get through today, so keep it down and pay attention.

We start with this article, which I very well may have unconsciously written, and if I am not the author, then I relate to it entirely too much for comfort. I've always said that I find politically-engaged women attractive, but this takes it to a whole new (very welcomed) level. The only thing missing is any mention of bourbon, but for the sake of my fantasies, I'll just assume that she is an avid bourbon connoisseur. If you are the woman mentioned in this article, please contact me.

Next, we turn to the world of science where, according to this article, the human species will split in 100,000 years into two distinct races: one tall, slender, attractive and intelligent, the other squat, rotund, and dim-witted. This, the author of the theory claims, is due to increased pickiness about sexual partners. Interesting that intelligence is grouped in with the attractive physical traits while lack of intelligence is associated with unattractiveness. I have identified several flaws in this theory:

1) The theorist fails to take account of non-physical traits like charm, wit, sense of humour, etc. which contribute significantly to someone's desireability.

2) What about plastic surgery?! You can lob off half of someone's nose, but that rhinoceros gene remains in the pool.

3) The beer-goggle effect has not adequately been accounted for. Anyone who has ever been to a club in their life will know that "pickiness over sexual partners" quickly goes down the drain after a few rounds.

I do agree with the part where he talks about the decline of the human species due to reliance on technology though. I'm already feeling it personally. My memory span is roughly 45 minutes into the past, I can't perform the simplest of mathematical operations without the assistance of a calculator, and I'm almost certain that I have early-onset alzheimers. For this I have technology to thank.

Finally, let me close by saying that Canada beckons me. Yes, I am returning to the Great White North about which I gripe so much. I haven't seen my mother, relatives or dog since last Christmas, and I miss them all dearly. I'll be there for a week (with a one night stopover in London, which I intend to paint red, on the way there) during which time I look forward to catching up with family and friends, playing with my dog, and hoarding copious amounts of bourbon in my belly to last me until I next return to a wet country.

It's going to be a pretty hectic holiday between all the aformentioned activity, plus filing my taxes, plus renewing my passport, plus renewing my license, so not sure if I'll be able to blog, but I shall certainly try.

Salaam from the sandy dunes...for now...

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